Insights » Disciplining Children- a note of caution to teachers and parents

Disciplining Children- a note of caution to teachers and parents

PP angry jpgChildren tend to misbehave because of many causes. You may want to know what those causes are and try to find out solutions for the real problems. Bad discipline is a psychological disadvantage for your children. Empowering them to overcome this problem should be the top most priority for all parents. Careful planning and useful techniques will help you teach discipline to your children without unnecessarily punishing them. 


Don’t scream or yell: It’s very unfortunate that teachers, parents and elders have some wrong notions, when they try to impose discipline in children. The above incident points out the wrong things we should avoid while dealing with indiscipline. First of all, Make sure that you are staying calm and quiet. Never ever, start yelling or screaming at your children.


Don’t jump into conclusion. In the above case, the teacher did not listen to the student. Never ever, resort to unnecessary criticism. Make sure that your children know that it is their bad behaviour that is causing your unhappiness with them.


Avoid public humiliation. The girl was a subject of public humiliation and such treatment from teachers or parents may lead certain sensitive children to go for extreme steps. Exposing a person to unwanted attention will create negative impacts. After all, being shamed in a public space is a traumatic event by any standards.


Always avoid physical punishment. Spanking or scolding can never be effective weapons for disciplining your children. It will make your children more angry and violent.


Speak normally: When asked what adults should do instead of scolding, most children say: “Just say it in a normal way.” Therefore, instead of grabbing your child by the arm, force the child to look into your eyes, and speak angry words, ask the child in a non-threatening way to explain what happened.


Listen and act: Ask your children the exact reasons for the misbehaviour. Let your children explain the reasons for their misbehaviour. Lend your ears to know their problems. Remember, children will never think and act  like you. After all, they are children, who are young and having a mind that is still immature. 



Be democratic: A teacher or a parent must be democratic in approach and attitude. If you are approachable, the young ones will open their minds and ready to communicate with you. Autocratic teacher or parent will produce negative results as far as discipline is concerned.


Use private areas to discipline your child:  The great mistake done by the teacher in the above incident was she failed to sort out the matter diplomatically. Never ever, scold or spank your children in a public place and in front of others. Talk to them in a low voice and with all calmness, so that you are showing your displeasure in private. Tell them why they are wrong with their bad behaviour. 


Be diplomatic: When dealing with young children, be diplomatic in our approach. If you adopt same way of disciplining and punishment, it will not create any positive result. According to situation be flexible to deal in different ways to sort out disciplinary issues. 


Be a role model: Teachers and parents are the role model for children, therefore always display good behaviour and show the children why good behaviour is beneficial and productive.


Duglas gif(The author has been teaching in colleges and schools for the last 18 years in India, Maldives and U.A.E. Currently teaching in Gems Our Own English School Fujairah. A prolific writer on teenage and education issues in various magazines and online portals.)

Duglas Joseph


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