Insights » Why EQ matters for Our kids not IQ

Why EQ matters for Our kids not IQ

EQ jpgMany of us have surprised to find some of our classmates, who were backbenchers ie poor in academic performance during school or college days, became highly successful in career and well known even internationally. The age old concept is that IQ (reflected in high marks, professional degrees and academic brilliance) is more important for a person to achieve success in career and life. The myth of high IQ and life success has been shattered due to the findings of recent researches that brought another vital factor called Emotional Quotient (EQ) to the forefront.


Parents, teachers, schools, colleges, educational experts and our curriculum pay high attention to develop the intellectual abilities of children. Importance is for scoring high marks, passing entrance exam, joining a professional course in a prestigious college etc. Parents believe that academic excellence is inevitable for a successful career, achievements in life and to earn higher income. Our educational system neglects another vital factor or domain that determines the future of kids. Recent researches brought out a startling revelation that success at work or in life depends more on Emotional Intelligence (EQ). They assign 80% for emotional quotient and only 20% for Intelligence Quotient (IQ). We should aware that scoring higher marks or academic degrees will not assure any success in our professional career. 


Everyone aware of Intelligence Quotient (IQ) whereas majority are blank about Emotional Quotient or intelligence (EQ).The concept EQ had a dramatic entry  in 1995, when  Daniel Goleman a psychologist published a  book on ‘Emotional Intelligence’. IQ stands for Intelligence Quotient indicates a person’s intelligence level, reasoning or logical ability whereas Emotional Quotient (EQ)  is the ability of a person to identify, express and control his or her thoughts and actions, understand other people and rightly interpret their situations, make right and quick decisions and cope with pressures and crisis.

All our energy and money is invested to develop intellectual abilities of children at school and home. 


Do we really make effort to boost the emotional intelligence of our children that is vital for their success in life? 


Do our school activities cater to the needs of developing social and emotional skills of our kids? Unfortunately majority of parents and educators ignore EQ. 


The billion dollar question is that can we teach or train kids for developing their EQ? 


The happy news is that, while IQ of a child is mainly an inborn component, EQ is both nature and nurture ie emotional intelligence can be developed through training.


  • Instruct the children the various emotions and feelings that can be expressed but also set a boundary to the ways these should be expressed. For eg. The expression of aggressive and inappropriate behaviours.
  • Love your child and show your affection for them.  Spent time with them and most importantly listen to them. 
  • Appreciate their achievements whether it is small or big. Appreciation of good behavior and expression of emotions will have a positive impact on them.
  • Allow children to play with other children their age. Don’t confine their life to the four wall of your home. Engaging in sports and games equip them with skills of social interaction, communication, team play and leadership.
  • Provide them the opportunity to explore the world and get to know the people, various cultures and environment. 
  • Encourage children to participate in extra-curricular activities. Don’t limit their world to academic pursuits. 
  • Always motivate them positively. When they fail instead of scolding, encourage them to try again.
  • Take children to social gatherings and allow them to form healthy relationship. Let them learn the rubrics of social interaction.
  • Instill confidence in children. Never try to demoralize them through negative comments. Inculcate reading habit in children and provide them the biographies of great personalities.


DuglasJoseph jpgDuglas Joseph


(Duglas Joseph is a prolific writer on Social, Educational and Parenting issues in newspapers, magazines and online portals. Conducting counseling  sessions and seminars on teenage, career guidance and educational issues. Faculty at Gems Our Own English School Fujairah. Former faculty at Ministry of Education Maldives)


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